The clock has just ticked 8 am, and I’m finally sitting down with breakfast. Ophelia, per usual, is doing tiny little whines mixed with heavy huffs of annoyance that I have not even bothered to give her a bite, even though I haven’t even taken my first. Little does she know I made her a scrambled egg. Alas, my dog is spoiled.
French toast. One egg, cinnamon and some Cinnabon creamer I’m pretty sure, is so many Weight Watchers points, I might as well not even bother tracking them. Not that I have been lately. Fell off that wagon pretty easily. Guh. A story for another time.
I was thinking this morning, about how I wanted to keep you guys in the loop of what I’m doing for my brand. It’s something I really wanted to make sure I did when I began really hitting the ground running with HP3D. Things that might be helpful for resources, things that are happening that show you’re not alone, my excitement, anguish and everything in between. I’m not the best vlogger, I don’t really know how to capture that content. And I’m not the best blogger either. But, I’ll do my best to pop in on the blog and give you updates. At first, when I began creating content outside of my 3D models and started wanting to focus on taking HP3D and making it really, really, real I thought I wanted to do this “what I’m doing for my business this week” segment on my YouTube, it was going to be such a great idea. Where each week I read off my log of ‘things I did’ and talked about it. But… sometimes it was embarrassing the time that would pass and I didn’t check in, I didn’t tell you anything and that was because I wasn’t.
Simply put: I’m mentally ill. And sometimes, that can really put a pause on life.
Maybe that’s something you can relate with. You know, following a mentally ill influencer who is just struggling to figure out what the actual fuuuuck is supposed to be happening.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with my brand. A lot. When I look at it, I imagine this widespread realm that I can touch anything I want! I can make it anything, be anything, look like anything. But, there’s just so much to do. So many options.
It’s too much. Overwhelming. Loud.
What social media accounts should I have? What does branding look like? What are my goals? What programs should I use? Why is it taking me 89247239 hours just to do this one project?! How do I network!?
My head is literally spinning.
I’m at this point where I feel like I’ve been running this brand for so long with nothing to show for it. And while I know that isn’t true, the feeling weighs so heavily on me. I hope I can shrug it off.
But I suppose I wanted to tell you that things will get better. That these billions of times we fall into this headspace right here, where we’re questioning ourselves as artists, entrepreneurs, creators, human beings – this is so totally normal. You’re NOT crazy. And while you may not be able to see the picture of that realm you’re creating yet, each and every piece you create that fits in there is progress. And every single day that passes you see just a little clearer. No matter how slow, how fast, or how knowledgeable you are to get there.
